Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Top 5 Ways to Cool the 'Ol Nerves

There's a lot going through my brain at any given time. I'd use the royal our brains here, but I've had too much experience recently to include EVERYone in the category of having active brain processes. So here we go (in no particular order):

- Video Games -- Nothing relieves stress better than parking your butt in front of a TV and ending the virtual lives of every digitized life form known to man. Personally, I prefer third person shooters for maximum satisfaction and Gears of War tops them all. It's bloody, chaotic and allows you to chainsaw people into chunks. I'd recommend headphones, however. That way, your neighbors can only hear your maniacal laughter and not the grinding of a chainsaw motor along with your victim's screams. Other good games (although not 3rd person shooters) include Call of Duty and Mortal Kombat. 

- Walking --  Step outside and get some fresh air. Lots of frustration comes from feeling stuck, so get out there and keep moving. It becomes tougher to focus on your problems as you get tired. Try not to grumble about your troubles however, unless you've got someone with you. Depending on how big of a city you live in, people walking alone and talking to themselves may or may not be much of an issue.

- Booze --  Hey, I'm a writer after all. We have a long history of intoxication to deal with being rejected, stressed, depressed, frustrated, overlooked, underpaid, dicked over...wait...why am I a writer again? Oh yeah. The craft. whatever. I recommend Jim Beam or Stolichnaya Vodka when you're feeling fancy. 

-  Screaming  --  Sure, it's simple, but it works. Put on some headphones, crank some metal and rage away. Ball your fists up real tight and howl along with other (albeit richer) angry artists like yourself. I recommend: Creeping Death by Metallica, Double Talkin' Jive by Guns n' Roses, Don't Let 'Em Grind Ya Down by Motorhead, The Rage by Judas Priest, or ANYTHING by Black Label Society.

-  Meditate and be a better person  --  Ha! Just kidding. These things are nice, but don't really make you feel better when you're still pissed off. Best to volunteer after you've calmed down a bit. Stick to the booze and screaming.

Monday, March 23, 2015

The Unreadable Dream

We've all heard writers talk about being inspired by dreams. Keep a journal. Write it down. Don't let those ideas go to waste! While I'm all for that advice, I would also tell you to give it some time before you start to write the book or story itself. Sometimes those nuggets aren't exactly gold.

This came to mind while I was cleaning off my desk and sorting through piles of handwritten notes and scribbled outlines the other day. Lots of them were from dreams and I remember being VERY excited about them while I wrote them down, all those wonderful images still swirling in my brain. Looking back on them now, I wonder what the hell I was on when I went to bed that night. Sure, there are some keepers. I've written more than one book based loosely on my sleepy babblings, but most of the good stuff was buried among all the weird crap that goes on when your subconscious gets to have some playtime.

That's the real bit of advice I would give here. Write dreams down, but don't expect to use them as a whole. And I know what you're thinking. Yes, I've heard the stories of some very popular books that were based on dreams. First, those are few and far between. Second, I've tried reading those books and still can't believe they were ever printed. Ugh. Just like in high school, popularity doesn't necessarily
equal quality. It doesn't matter what your or my opinion my be in regard to whatever popular schlock is out there or how it was made. Be your own person and write your own schlock!

As for the dreams, they are a valuable resource. Just be sure to sift through them for the really good stuff before you try to use anything. I want to make a reference to plucking the golden kernels of corn from a turd here, but that would be gross so I won't. Ooops. Forget that last part.

Saturday, March 21, 2015

I did that???

I just got finished adding the synopses for all the Skinners books onto the new page on this blog. Had to type them in without the use of cut and paste because of some weird color/background issues. Anyway, after reading all of those, I was fairly impressed. Those actually are pretty good!


Yes, I know this sounds egotistical but I talk enough trash to myself on every other day. Hearing some praise from the voices in my head is a nice change every now and then.

Cap'n Quaker!

No, it's not the woolen clad avenger for those who shun modern ways. And it's not the unsteadiest gun arm to ride the west. It's my new, favorite way to spice up boring food.

Now that I'm no longer a young, strapping buck with a bod covered in rippling muscles and...wait...I must be thinking of someone else. Ok, so I'm in my forties and need to watch what I eat. No matter how appealing the notion of dying with a gut full of burgers, face down in a greasy pizza with bacony cheese in the crust may be, I really have to rein it in nowadays.

My favorite meal is breakfast and oatmeal is one of the best alternatives to the ever glorious McGriddle. One time, many years ago, I described the then-newly-arrived McGriddle to a guy over XBox Live who lived in London. They didn't have them there yet and he said they sounded "Fucking brilliant". Granted, he was probably high, but that doesn't mean he was wrong. So now that Mc-justaboutanything is off my menu, I find myself wanting to spice up the foods I can have.

Oatmeal is ok, but it needs to be mixed with something. How about something with texture? Raisins. Sure, I guess. Nuts? Come on, now. I'm not an animal. Something crunchy, though. Cereal! I started with peanut butter cheerios, which was good, but the Os got mushy pretty quick. Next I tried Cocoa Krispies, which were delightful. Then I dumped in some Cap'n Krunch. Let me tell you, Captain Yohann Krunch never disappoints! Yeah...Yohann. He looks like a Yohann, doesn't he? It's the 'stache. Next time, I go for Yohann's peanut butter variety. Droolin' over oatmeal? Now I know I've hit paydirt.

It may not be as healthy as straight oats or the raisins thing, but you gotta live a little. If wanting to start my day with some Krunch is wrong, I don't wanna be right!

Friday, March 20, 2015

New me for 2015!!

Alrighty! It’s 2015 and time for some changes. First of all, I’m sure anyone who’s been to this blog before notices the different layout. I love black and all, but got sick of looking at the same backgrounds, etc on this page. Also, I want to dedicate this page to everything I write so a new look seemed to be in order.

Another change for me is the shift in focus as far as my writing goes. This entire industry has been knocked on its ass for some time now. Ebooks are awesome, but to paraphrase the Joker from Dark Knight, they’ve changed things…forever. And there’s no turning back. Man I love that movie. I want to watch it now. Be right back…

…Ok. Awesome flick. What was I saying? Right. Changes. With the rise of the ebook and the fall of so many brick and mortar bookstores, the industry is still in upheaval. That might not be as obvious to the readers. After all, there are still some bookstores out there. Books are still being printed. There’s stuff to read. The Kindle is coming out with new models all the time. (I desperately want one of the new Paperwhite Kindles by the way) Trust me, though, it’s crazy from the inside of this industry and only gets crazier as the months drag into years.

Someone like me who isn’t on the receiving end of a publishers’ marketing budget needs to hustle for work whenever possible to keep up with the ol’ rent. That means trying to line up contracts wherever possible that pay some sort of advance so I can make ends meet. I love ebooks and the sense of creative freedom that comes along with them, but they’re a gamble financially. If writing is my only source of income, waiting for royalties to trickle in is not a stress-free way to live. So, after years of fighting the good fight and busting my butt to survive within the publishing machine, I need to suck it up and find other sources of income. Does that mean no more books from me? Uhh…why would I redo this blog if I was gonna shut it off?

Actually, it means the opposite. Once I secure myself in a more traditional manner (see also: day job) I can stop jumping through so many goddamn hoops, begging for the attention of publishers who only want me to write stuff that resembles whatever other author is the flavor of the month, and scrambling to fit myself into someone else’s category. I never was good at that kind of thing and haven’t gotten any better as I ferment.

Pleasing so many higher-ups who barely even know what they want anyway is a good way to drive yourself insane. The good thing about being truly apart from the machine (and being insane, for that matter) is that you don’t have a lot to lose. I will no longer worry about taking a good idea and rearranging it to fit the current trend. I will now focus on writing what I WANT and not just what I need to pay the bills.

I’ve been told my vampires need to be more mysterious and sultry. I’ve been told that I need to adhere to the concrete rules as set forth in legends in regards to mythological creatures. Legends as FACT? Isn’t tweaking legend and playing within a genre the FUN part of fiction? I’ve been told horror is no longer a genre. I’ve been told Steampunk is dead. I’ve been told a lot of things and I don’t mind hearing people speak their minds. I also don’t need to change what I do just to satisfy a bunch of rules that will change in a day or two anyway.

Overall, it’s a scary time for me. It’s also an exciting one. There’s a big weight lifted off my back when I stop worrying about trying to please someone in an office reading my horror manuscripts who doesn’t even like horror in the first place. I’m doing my own thing again and it feels good. Check back soon and I’ll tell you all about it.

Monday, August 25, 2014

Guardians, Vampires and Flicks

Where the hell does the time go?? I mean seriously! I know I’m not a spring chicken, but I’m not so old that I can use that as an excuse for spacing off months at a time. Come to think of it, most older folks I know keep up with things better than I do. Oh well. In the words of the immortal sailor: I yam what I yam.

So what’s been up with me? Let’s see…I finally made it through all the summer popcorn movies I wanted to see. Best of the bunch had to be Guardians of the Galaxy. I was familiar with the comics to a certain extent, but enough to be fairly confident it was gonna kick ass as soon as I saw the first preview. Good to know I was right. I also recently Netflixed (yeah it’s a verb now) the new remake of Robocop. This was one that I thought should be pretty good even if it wasn’t great. Turns out, the makers of that film actually found a way to make Robocop BORING! What the…huh??? ED209s were there, robot cops were there, even Gary Oldman and Jackie Earle Haley were there! Oh well. There’s always the Dark Knight trilogy and Human Target to see those last two guys shine!

On the work front, things have been amping up nicely. Most recently I’ve been putting together a short story for the third anthology in Jonathan Maberry’s V-Wars series. Very cool stuff. Here’s a link!  I’ve also got another pretty big project happening. It’s not a huge secret or anything (not Skinners related) but I’d rather make a big announcement a little later. I just don’t want to jinx anything, you know? It’ll be cool. Trust me.

Guess that’s it for now. 

UPDATE - That cool thing I mentioned at the end fell through. Them's the breaks.

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Love you, Ma

It’s been a rough couple of months. On a personal note, I recently lost my grandma Sophie who was one of the sweetest, most charming and loving people I’ve ever known. She was one of the foundations for who I am and everything I’ve done. I’ll never stop missing her. My world will be a little dimmer now that she’s no longer in it. Of course she’s with me in spirit and she made a point to tell me she’d watch over me, but it’s still tough.

On a professional note, the publishing industry continues to be an unconscionable ball-breaker. Series are getting axed left and right, which is a good and bad thing for us writers. Obviously, having fewer series to write hits us in the wallet. However, it frees us up to pursue our own passions and get our projects out there in ebook format. To that end, I’ve been hard at work on several different fronts. Book two of The Gillis Ledgers is coming along nicely and should be released in a month or two. After that, I’ll be hard at work on Book 8 of Skinners. Around the same time as the new Gillis comes out, I’ll be releasing the first book in a brand new steampunk series. More on that later, but I’m very excited about it!

Hope you all are doing well and don’t worry, I’ll have more for you guys to read real soon! 

This is what happens without editors

I'm Marcus Pelegrimas, author of the SKINNERS series. Here you'll find various ramblings about movies, video games, TV, and...oh yeah...those books I write. If there's anything you'd like to discuss, just let me know. I try to update whenever the mood strikes me, so feel free to leave comments. There may be some occasional foul language, but anyone who's too easily offended probably doesn't read my stuff anyway.

Free Stuff

Here's how it goes. As usual, I've got my truckload of promo covers from EOS Books. I'll be going to some conventions, so I hope to see you there and I'll gladly sign your books. If you can't make it to a con, just email me your name, address and any inscription so I can send you a signed cover.

BONUS ---> If you would be so kind as to write up a review for any or all Skinners books and publish it on a site like, Barnes & Noble, Borders, or any other major review site, I can send you something extra. I made up some bookmarks (which I'll sign) and I've even put together some Shimmy's VIP passes (which I'll also sign). Can't guarantee the passes will get you into a real strip club, but I think they look pretty cool. Send me a link to your review along with your name, address and inscription, and I'll get these out to you as well.