GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra was one of the few movies I wanted to see in theaters over the summer. I'm spoiled with my kinda-nice speakers and TV at home and can wait to see quality films without having to filter out the garbage that comes along with a theater audience. GI Joe just seemed like one of those goofy, explosion-riffic spectacles that should be enjoyed on a theater screen where the noisy audience actually adds to the fun. Well, I never got around to it but I finally saw it last night in the Basement-Plex. It wasn't long into it that I started thinking, "Wow. This is even goofier than I thought it would be." About five seconds later, I realized that made it a perfect GI Joe movie.
Let's face it. If it was a gritty film about elite commandos fighting a terrorist organization, this would NOT have been GI Joe. When I think of GI Joe, I think of sweet-ass laser weapons, flippin' awesome vehicles and dudes with dumb code names shooting at each other with no regard for collateral damage. If someone made a big budget movie loosely based on one of the plot lines I came up with when playing with my Joes in the backyard when I was 10, it would be pretty close to this one. Hell yes, I had plot lines! One of my fondest summer vacation memories was an ongoing battle incited by my Star Wars toys invading a GI Joe base. It was one of the most awesome crossovers my young mind could conceive.
Oh, and you can't forget the hot women in glasses. Ahhh, The Baroness. I've already talked about my youthful longing for her. So what if she was a cartoon? This was before the days when a young lad could Google "hot women with glasses" and come up with enough pics to sate any appetite. We had to use our imaginations. Plus, I was 10 or so. Hadn't graduated past cartoon chicks just yet.
Back to the movie. It was goofy as hell. Destro looked pretty cool, or as cool as a guy could look with a metal face. There was even a cameo by Dr. Mindbender. DR. MINDBENDER!! I thought that guy was a bit much even when I was a kid, but this movie went for it all. Plus, NINJAS! The director must have figured, "Hey, it's GI Joe. Bring on the lasers, one-man rocket sleds and giganto, goop-filled warheads." The grown man part of me was chuckling that I was watching this movie. The other part was secretly hoping to see parts of the Weather Dominator scattered around Cobra Commander's lab.