I'm always fascinated by predictions for the end of the world. Not that I buy into all of them, but I think it's funny how so many people are not only trying so hard to figure out the exact day we erupt into fire or ash or whatever, but that they really seem to be looking forward to it. I mean, they make signs, they march, they throw parties, they knock on doors. Wouldn't it be better to just schlep along and be pleasantly surprised by all the awesome demons popping out everywhere? Or if it's not so cool (like maybe another flood or something) wouldn't you still rather be surprised? Either way, it's not like we can prepare. What are those canned peanuts and bottles of water doing over there? End of the world survival kit? Smart!
I just heard about May 21st being the possible Rapture. Whenever I hear the word Rapture, it's usually in a pretty good context associated with heaving bosoms and such. Apparently, the real one isn't so great. Or is it? No more Kardashians. No more American Idol. No more Glee. I know, some of you like that stuff, but it all evens out. No more Fringe or Twinkies either. We all suffer. Happy now?
So what's your poison? Zombies? That apocalypse is poised to happen at any moment. First person shooters have made me into a head-shootin' killing machine. Bring it!! Nostradamus's Big Kablooey? That already came and went and some people STILL say he knew his crap. Skynet's Judgment Day? That passed back in 1997. I was working as a telemarketer back then, so that's pretty close to languishing in hell being watched by robot overlords. The Mayan's 2012 Bash? Yet to be seen. But, they couldn't even see the Spaniards coming, so I'll take that with a grain of salt. KABLOW!!! Any Mayans in the audience? All in good fun. You know I love ya!
You gotta hand it to anyone who seriously commits to an end of the world date within their lifetime. They're putting all of their credibility eggs into one basket. The sad part is when that day comes and goes and they come up with some lame excuses to save face. Oh, Nostradamus was looking at a comet instead of a star. He was CLOSE on some stuff. Close don't count in Doomsday!! I'll give these people a break. At least they get behind something. We'll see what happens tomorrow. If it does turn out to be the Rapture, that should be interesting and I don't have to mow my lawn. If not, at least it's the weekend. Bulls vs Heat.
If the end does come tomorrow, here's one more pro and con. Well, three cons if you count the demons and judgment. Bad news first) People like me will have to deal with a whole lot of smug doomsayers. Pro) With the dead rising from the grave, we could kill Osama AGAIN. USA!!!!!
[Editorial note - The spell checker isn't working. Must be a sign.]
