Oh, so THAT'S why I can't shake this headache!

No big news, but I thought I'd check in. Here are a few things going on in the glamorous life of a professional writer! Get ready to quit your jobs, kids. After this, you'll want nothing more than to join me on the front lines of literary greatness.

-  Speaking of jobs, my search for a normal one goes on. And, by normal, I mean "paying" or "steady" or even "one that doesn't kick me in the balls on a daily basis". Maybe that last one is overly dramatic. The kicks come maybe once or twice a week actually. Also, that's most jobs. Anyway, there were a few prospects that seemed like sure bets and I haven't heard anything from them. Times are hard...the economy...blah, blah. Anyone know where I can sign on for one of those underground prize
fight clubs or evil mercenary gigs I read so much about? Hey! Comic books count as reading!!

-  Been watching Daredevil on Netflix. Ahhhh. Finally, something good has happened. Gritty and true to the source material. I've been doing my best to ration myself. Binge watching only means waiting longer for the next season.

-  Those brat burgers I mentioned last post are AMAZING!! Worth every calorie.

-  Sat down to start writing again for the first time in a long while. It feels good to get back to my REAL work. On the agenda for the immediate future is some western series work for ebooks and getting off my ass to FINALLY get the second Gillis Ledgers book out there. That one's been written for a while and the cover is even done. Looks great. I just got sidetracked before edits could be made. Won't be long before another of my spawn is out and about.

-  Filed my taxes. Was informed they were rejected. Filed them again. Waiting. Sigh. What's the matter, IRS? Can't wait to get my IOU for a couple hundred bucks??

You might have spotted a common theme through this and several other posts around here. Waiting. Ugh. Don't remind me. Oh yeah, you didn't remind me. I reminded me. I hate me sometimes!!!!

These boots are made for...writing? I guess that's what they'll do.

I go through footwear phases throughout the years. Sometimes I prefer sneakers. Sometimes I prefer boots. Sometimes I don't give a crap just so long as my flat, flipper-like feet are comfortable. The other day marked a shift into boot phase and I realized I didn't have any that weren't scuffed to hell or too small. Have my feet expanded? Ugh. So I decided to go to an Army surplus store for some combat boots. You know, just the plain, smooth black combat boots. Not the ones that have canvas and designs and all that other stuff. I don't know what sort of boots are standard issue now, but I couldn't find any plain combat boots in this place. The other ones (as authentic as they may or may not be) just looked too sporty. Flummoxed as to where else to find classic combat boots, I thought of where else to go for some cool footwear.

Off to the Harley store. I lucked out here because not only were their boots around the same price as what was in the surplus store, but they had kick-ass versions with skulls on them. Hey, I've got skulls on everything else I own, not to mention tattooed into my flesh, so why not? If I can't have plain combats, I'll have skull-tastic bikers. For a moment, I thought I didn't want to look like some kind of Harley poser because I don't ride a bike. Then I realized I'm not a Marine either, but would have been fine in my combat boots. Boots is boots and mine have cool skulls on 'em. Yeah!!!

Fish 'n Fan Pages

When I first signed on to Facebook, I started a Fan Page for Blood Blade. Didn't really know what to do with it, slacked, didn't follow up with subsequent books, it petered out. Well, now that I'm more familiar with the whole process and there's more going on with Skinners in general, I've started a page for the Skinners series. Just go to Facebook, search for Skinners and look for the official page. It's that simple! There's some gadget that's supposed to allow me to put a cool link directly to Facebook onto this site, but that part wasn't so easy for me to figure out.

So lately I've been trying to eat healthier. Part of that includes eating more fish (you know...because it's fish). I'm not a huge fish expert, apart from my definitive knowledge that fish sticks are DEFINITELY different that fish patties. Although both go well with mac & cheese, patties have a lighter, flakier crust while the sticks are crunchier and better for dippin'. Now that I've been trying to cook with "real" fish, I find myself buying those bags of frozen Tilapia, Flounder and Salmon without really knowing what the difference is between them. Last night, I found out that Salmon comes with some skin still on it. That kind of freaked me out. I flip over this cut of fish to still find scales on the freaking thing! Am I supposed to eat the skin? You can eat chicken skin. Is it the same for fish? I didn't want to push it, so I cut it off. "A-ha!" I thought. "Now I know what that thin, curvy knife that came with my steak knives is for!" Grilled it up with some Mrs. Dash, made some rice and had some green beans. Healthy meal. Long story short, I still prefer patties and sticks.

Has everyone forgotten about the whole Shimmy's pass thing? There seemed to be some interest when I was working on them and now that they're done, I've only sent a couple out! All it takes is a quick review of any or all Skinners books on Amazon, Barnes & Noble.com or some other site. Send me the link to your Skinners review, your address and any inscription and I'll send you a Shimmy's pass, or some bookmarks...even some covers (all signed by me). Sounds like a cool deal. Ok. Enough begging. You get it.

A one, and 'a two, and a...

My XBox Gamerscore just hit 33,333. I think I'll stop playing for a while so I can bask in the perfect three-ness of it all.

Break out the flannels

Today is the first OFFICIAL day of autumn!!! I get more excited about this than I do with other events that come along with a day off. Granted, this hasn't been too bad of a summer, but autumn is so much better. You know how the Munsters always enjoyed it when it was gray and rainy outside their cool, run-down mansion? It's like that. Nothing against the sun per se, but I'll take cool temps and subdued lighting anytime. It also could have been worse if I still lived in St. Louis. Sure, I was able to get Jack in the Box tacos whenever I wanted, but the humidity there is a freaking nightmare. I don't even care how worn out that phrase is. It truly is a wet heat!

Some cases of the Swine Flu (or H1N1 or html or whatever they're calling it now) popped up around here. Seems like more panic that amounts to a fever and a few sick days. At least, those are the cases that have hit people in this area. Hopefully it stays at that level. I think what freaks a lot of people out is constantly seeing the microscopic pictures of the virus all over the internet and news. Kind of like when you see magnified pictures of the mites that live in your eyebrows.

Next weekend is Archon. I've been excited for this convention for a while and now it's almost here. I really enjoy this one because it's in St. Louis so it's on familiar turf and we get to visit family while we're there. Plus, as mentioned above, Jack in the Box. The release of Howling Legion is coming up as well, which means I need to line up signings and that sort of thing. Maybe someday I'll be famous enough to have a tour arranged so I can travel from store to store and appear at those huge signings where people need to wait in line and have multi-colored wrist bands. Actually, that sounds pretty overwhelming. For now, it's nice to just have people show up.

Stuff

It's been a while since my last post. Mostly just working, but there have been a few points of interest.



- Heroes is still tanking. This is nothing new, but still sad. I think the problem is that they never have the characters use their powers unless it's to help a scene transition. Teleportation and time traveling are basically fancy ways of getting to a new set. Other than that, it's a lot of people flicking their hands to cause a ball of electricity/fire/ice/whatever without actually USING those things against anyone. Come on guys. FIGHT SOMEBODY!! Also, if Claire just now lost her ability to feel pain, that means she could feel all that stuff BEFORE?? So when she was burned alive, shot, stabbed, chopped up and stuck her hand in a freaking GARBAGE DISPOSAL, she could feel it?? She just didn't react, huh? Is that bad acting, lazy writing or both? There's so many more gripes and unanswered bullshit. I wanted to give it another chance before, but this was it.



- I've been playing Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe and I like it. Sure, the fighting is a bit choppy sometimes, but it looks great and the powers are very cool without requiring a degree in button combos. I remember when I had the time to memorize each combo and fatality from MK 3. Those were the days. Now, I just want to whip some butt without referencing a printout every five seconds. People complain about the story, but since when were fighting games worried about plot lines? I could say this one has a more entertaining story than the last season and a half of Heroes, but why beat that into the ground? I guess I just did. Oh well. As far as MK vs DC, I wanted to kick some butt, look good doing it and have fun. Check, check and check.



- I finally got a hold of Legendary and spent some time playing it. Within a few minutes, I knew this game would be put through the wringer. On one hand, the gameplay is very linear and some things are very disappointing. You need to decapitate the werewolves to make sure they stay dead. COOL. They even provide a fire axe to do the chopping. That way, it takes more than just bullets to put them down. Then again, if you keep pulling the trigger on the machine gun, their heads will just pop off anyway. Kinda lame. On the other hand, there are lots of exciting moments and the creatures look pretty good. I bought this one with some store credit that brought the price down to about $21 and it's worth every cent. I honestly would have been a little upset to pay full price. For other monster fans, wait till the price drops and give it a whirl. There's over a dozen other games I want to get including Fallout 3, which I'm putting off simply because I don't have the time to get wrapped up in what looks like a real life-sucker. The rest just needs to wait for the funds to come through.



- I picked up the Gears of War novel, Aspho Fields. I normally don't read a lot of video game tie-ins, but I'm sort of a Gears fan (see pic). Then again, games are getting some pretty damn good stories. I did pick up the Mass Effect books, but haven't started reading them yet. The Gears book has a great, gritty military feel and even sneaks in a few wisecracks regarding the game itself. Why does Marcus wear a do rag instead of a helmet? Turns out it's in the regs as long as the insignia is centered. My favorite is when one of the characters asks, "Why can't they give us a damn flashlight?" That line was in Gears 2 as well, so I wonder who wrote it first? I'd like to think someone at Epic Games read the manuscript for the book, thought it was funny and stuck it into the game.



- I finally saw the Star Wars Clone Wars animated movie. I am genuinely shocked at how much I like that series on Cartoon Network. I gave it a shot and I'm glad I did! Some things (like the tinny voices for the battledroids) actually work better in a cartoon. The fights are very cool and the stories are exciting little tidbits that fit well into the universe. The movie is the same and I really enjoyed it.



- Also got around to seeing Hellboy 2. I loved the first one, but never got around to seeing it in theaters simply because the theater experience has become a general pain in the ass. Refer back to my post about the second time I went to see Dark Knight in theaters for all of that. Suffice it to say, I'm waiting for most movies to come to DVD before seeing them. Hellboy 2 fires on all cylinders. Guillermo del Toro has such a distinctive style that works so damn well in anything fantasy-related. He's one of those guys who takes fantasy just seriously enough to make it special. Blade 2 was the best in that series and I've been a fan of Guillermo's ever since.



- It's getting cold enough to thoroughly enjoy chili and oatmeal.



- Scooters Pumpkin Spice Latte is awesome.



Yeah. That's about it.

If Red Ryder were alive today...

I don’t think the UPS guy even tries to knock on my door anymore because all he has to do is pull to a stop in front of my townhouse and I'm running at him like a poorly trained mutt. Last time, it was to get my hands on Gears 2. Today, it was to get my replica LANCER!!!! I’ve been waiting for this puppy since the summer and it’s finally here. Sure, it’s just a big toy gun, but there’s also a chainsaw and it’s coated in blood!

Opening that box, I felt very much like Ralphie at the end of A Christmas Story. Eyes open wide. Hands trembling with anticipation. That little gasp when I see the life-size, gore-covered saw blade. What am I gonna do with this thing? What WON’T I do with it? Apart from the obvious picture ops and home security uses, there’s the sheer awesomeness of it that just makes life a little better. If you can’t take pleasure in something that’s cool just for the sake of being freaking cool, then you’re doomed to live a bleak existence indeed.

Sometimes, you just gotta let yourself be a raging geek simply because it’s fun. This is one of those days. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to pretend I’m chainsawing my poor wife while she’s trying to watch TV.

There's an election happening? REALLY?

Yes, I’m going to vote tomorrow.
No, I don’t want to talk about who I’ll vote for and why.
No, I don’t want to know who anyone else votes for and YES I am sick of all the back and forth garbage regarding the election.
I realize this is important. The 16,500 calls I get every week and the jerks knocking on my door all tell me so. I’m just glad that at least some of this crap will be over this week.

I make my own decision and everyone else can make theirs. That’s the whole point of this system right? There’s also freedom of speech that allows people to spout off endlessly about their favorite or make fun of their not-so-favorite. I get it. Unfortunately, the whole “right to privacy” thing gets overlooked as all the loudmouthed idiots keep interrupting my day by calling me, knocking on my door and saying the same thing over and OVER again on the TV, radio, billboards and whatever else in their attempt to assert themselves into my life.
Yes I’m going to vote.
YES I know it’s important!!!
Now LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Sigh)
Back to our regularly scheduled nonsense.

Theeere cahn be ohnly wahhn!!!!

I love Highlander.
I love the original movie, most of the sequels (except for the second one. I pretend that never happened), and all but a few episodes of the TV series (and 90% of the sixth season). That may sound like I disavowed a lot of content, but the stuff that remains is freaking GREAT!!! Cool flashbacks. Sword fights. Decapitation!!! Awesome lightning. It's got it all.

This Saturday, Highlander gets mixed up with another one of life's little pleasures: The Sci-Fi Channel's original movie. They're doing a post-apocalyptic remake of Beowulf starring Christopher Lambert...CONNOR MacLeod himself!!! I'm not sure if this is a Sci-Fi Channel original or if they imported it from somewhere, but it's gonna be AWESOME!!! That's the best part about those movies. Even if they're crappy, they're still awesomely crappy! I just hope there'll be some cheesy CG effects and bad dialogue. Who am I kidding? Of course there will!

Sweetness is a virtue and you lost your virtue long ago

According to the most recent rumors, the new Guns n’ Roses album will be coming out next month. Technically, this is official, but after this long it's well past the "I'll believe it when I see it" stage. I’ve been a fan of GnR since Appetite for Destruction and still say Axl Rose is one of the ultimate rock stars of all time. No, I didn’t say he was the best singer or performer. Best Rock Star. Well, one of them anyway. The difference is all in the attitude. Rock stars aren’t easy to work with and they’re not worried about hitting perfect pitch. They strut on stage, kick ass in the shows where they stay upright and don’t give a rat’s ass what anyone has to say about any of it. Axl started a riot, which gives him HUGE rock star points. Guns had edge before “edge” became a catchphrase.

The new album is coming and it’s been in the works for over a decade. Of course, this is in between arguments with band members, drunken binges, public spectacles and the occasional performance. Rock stars, remember? You want punctuality and civil obedience, call U2. Eh, I don’t want to get into a high school debate about whose band rocks hardest. I just really hope Chinese Democracy has some cool songs on it. The trick will be to somehow listen to it without thinking about all the buildup. NOTHING can stand up to the tagline, “Over a decade in the making”. That just begs people to sit back, cross their arms and grunt, “Ok. This had better be good.”

I heard Shackler’s Revenge, which was a new GnR tune on Rock Band 2 and I like it. The guitar riffs kick my ass on expert setting, but that's not the band's fault. The song itself was better than a chunk of the new Metallica CD, but not as awesome as classic tracks from Appetite. I heard the title track on the band's website and thought it sounded pretty cool. I’m no big music critic. I just listen to stuff. Way back in my younger days, I would have happily fought about stupid crap like this until foam came from my mouth and sweat rolled through my flowing, rock ‘n roll length hair. Now, I just want to hear some more good GnR songs. Maybe the new CD will be great. I really hope it is. No matter what, I’m sure Axl will screech the hell out of his music to the best of his ability and flip plenty of shit to anyone who doesn’t care for it. See? Rock star.

Can getting kicked in the face be sexy?

Ok, I didn't mean for this to be a series, but this pic sort of jumped out at me. I also took Tae Kwon Do for several years in the high school/college years and I've gotta admit, it was kind of a thrill to get knocked around by a cute girl who knew her stuff. Of course, the drawback to that is that they were all a LOT more flexible than I was and dropped more than a few heels directly onto my dome. They were all cute and apologetic afterward, but when I tried to capitalize on that, I somehow got knocked out again. Go figure.

This illustrates the fine line between "hot" and "annoying". Hot = women who really do know how to fight and show their skills in an impressive manner. Annoying = women who take a few weeks of classes, brag about "kicking boys' asses" and strike stupid poses. Also, grown women who still have a "boys vs. girls" battle going on in their minds.

Just to show I'm not trying to pick on the ladies, I'll give some time to the guys here. Cool = Guys who know their stuff and whip ass when necessary without bragging about it to their numbskull roommate. Think Clint Eastwood's Dirty Harry or William Munny from Unforgiven. Annoying = Men who take a few weeks of classes, brag about "kicking boys' asses" and strike stupid poses.

By the way, if any of those girls from my Tae Kwon Do class remember me and just happen to read this, don't get all bent out of shape. Also, please don't find me and kill me.

Can dead fish be sexy?

When they're being displayed by Olivia Munn...yes. They sure can.

October-riffic

It’s October, which is officially my favorite month of all. I only wish I could put Halloween decorations up, leave them up, and not get those freaked-out looks from neighbors at about the mid-April point. I don’t mind avoiding all that small talk when I go to get my mail, but those Neighborhood Watch patrols camped outside my door get old real quick. Anyway, it’s a great time for movies and I’m pumped to see Quarantine. It seems like I’m one of the few who still admit to liking Blair Witch Project. I KNOW you never see anything, but that’s the point. This one looks like it’s got that whole “in your FACE” camera style but they actually do show you stuff. I still gush about Cloverfield, so maybe I’m just a sucker for the whole shaky-cam thing. I just want to know when that remake of the Wolf Man is supposed to come out. I saw a picture of that werewolf on a magazine cover and it looks pretty damn cool.

It’s also a good time for video games. One of the horror titles I’m pumped about is Dead Space. Freaky aliens, no-gravity chases, and a system they lovingly call “creative dismemberment” practically demands me to drop some cash. Also, Legendary is out in about a week and a half. I’ve been awaiting this game for a while now and it looks great. Werewolves, Griffins, and all kinds of monsters tearing through modern day cities. Who writes this stuff?? Oh….yeah.

I watched the first episode of Sanctuary on the Sci-Fi Channel. Wasn’t blown away just yet, but it’s got promise. I’ll definitely watch the next few. Fringe is great as usual. I’ve only recently gotten into Supernatural. I didn’t start in on this show for a while because it looked like another “hot young people being snarky on the CW network” show. My agent actually recommended it, so I picked up the first season cheap on DVD. About twenty minutes into the first episode, I felt like a dumb-ass for not watching this show from the start. Very cool premise. VERY cool monsters and yeah, the dudes are dreamy. I’m secure enough in my manliness to admit it.

The only thing I hate about this month is all the stupid ads for every stupid thing that has a play on the word October. “Shock-tober movie fest”, “Rock-tober radio promos”, “Flock-tober all-you-can-eat seagull night”, “Jock-tober NFL giveaways”, “Crock-tober stew meat sales” (I can’t stop) “Mock-tober apple pie”, “Tick-Tock-tober pocket watch booths”, (seriously, I can’t rein this in) “Octo-tober calamari giveaways”. Ok, that one was bad. Broke the rhythm. I need to catch my breath……..

Yayyyy

Just heard Fringe got picked up for a full season. That's truly good news for a genuinely fresh show. Although I've enjoyed every episode, I've been waiting for the hammer to drop. There's been plenty of cool shows that got axed for whatever reason just when they start getting really good. I enjoyed Threshold a few seasons back and that was dropped like the proverbially hot rock. Nothing really new there, but I'm glad to see this one's sticking around for a while.

I'm getting back into the groove for work. I know I was only gone for a weekend, but being at a convention is like being in a parallel universe for a few days. It's strange to step back into the world where costumes are few and far between and there's not fellow geeks patrolling the halls. Speaking of work, I've hit a few spots in editing that really change things for the better. Sometimes I wonder how crappy books would be if you saw them in the first draft phase. Actually, I'm talking about my books here because I'm sure plenty of writers can get things nailed down quicker than I do. Some of these things aren't little touches that make for a better story. They're major plot points that simply weren't there the first time around. Just imagine a first go-through of Lord of the Rings where the Ring Wraiths were just some slightly stronger goblins.

As I'm typing this, I'm seeing these wonderful little updates about the falling stock market. Good thing I don't truly understand financial stuff or I might be upset. I know it's bad, but there's not much I can do. I've already done my part by working at a craft where I get paid slightly less than a telemarketer for a full month's work.

Where's the "I hate you. You're the bane of my existence" button?

You know what truly sucks about working at home? Not having a tech guy to come around and fix my computer!! I know just enough to do the really hard stuff like work on Word documents and check email. Then, for no apparent reason, every little thing becomes a multi-layered chore that involves starting/stopping programs, watching everything come up as “not responding”, restarting the computer, talking to customer service reps, and all kinds of other fun stuff that wastes a good chunk of my day.

I need a tech guy to come in and work the voodoo required to clean up whatever I messed up. Yes, I’ve run virus scans, but I’ve never had my computer act goofy, run a scan, find a bunch of bugs and then have it run great after removing those bugs. Usually, all I get are a few tracking cookies and then I need to restart the computer because it’s chugging away at something or other. Seems to be working ok now, but it’s only a matter of time before I’m ready to get out the crowbar and do some debugging the old fashioned way.

Sci Fi Channel goodness

Have I mentioned how much I love the original movies on Sci Fi Channel? Well, I do. It's not because they're well written, well acted or well anything, but they don't even pretend to be concerned with any of that stuff. My wife likes the disaster ones like Atomic Twister (surprisingly, that's NOT about a tragic accident involving tightie whities and a nerd's butt crack). I, of course, enjoy the monster movies.



Now, there are different themes. There's the "giant insect" or "giant radioactive/mutant animal" variety. There's also the vampires, werewolves, krakens, and manticore kind pulled up from our proud traditions and mythology. There's also the regular, yet still scary animals like crocodiles, bears and Komodo Dragons. The effects are cheesy, the acting is horrific, the women are hot (although the naked bits are blurred), and people always get mutilated. Usually, someone gets bitten in half and someone else gets their head knocked off. And, when their heads do come off, it's no surprise since they seemed to have been so loosely attached in the first place. What makes this all so great is that everyone connected to these movies obviously knows they're just making cheese and run with it. Once you sit back, shut the ol' brain down and relax, these movies are SO much more fun than shitty movies trying to be good (cough...The Village...cough...Superman Returns)



This Saturday, I'm setting my DVR for Copperhead. Giant snakes (or maybe just a lot of snakes) are set loose upon the old west. THE OLD WEST!!!! YEAHHH!!!!!!