The End of Everything on a Saturday? Naturally.

I'm always fascinated by predictions for the end of the world. Not that I buy into all of them, but I think it's funny how so many people are not only trying so hard to figure out the exact day we erupt into fire or ash or whatever, but that they really seem to be looking forward to it. I mean, they make signs, they march, they throw parties, they knock on doors. Wouldn't it be better to just schlep along and be pleasantly surprised by all the awesome demons popping out everywhere? Or if it's not so cool (like maybe another flood or something) wouldn't you still rather be surprised? Either way, it's not like we can prepare. What are those canned peanuts and bottles of water doing over there? End of the world survival kit? Smart!

I just heard about May 21st being the possible Rapture. Whenever I hear the word Rapture, it's usually in a pretty good context associated with heaving bosoms and such. Apparently, the real one isn't so great. Or is it? No more Kardashians. No more American Idol. No more Glee. I know, some of you like that stuff, but it all evens out. No more Fringe or Twinkies either. We all suffer. Happy now?

So what's your poison? Zombies? That apocalypse is poised to happen at any moment. First person shooters have made me into a head-shootin' killing machine. Bring it!! Nostradamus's Big Kablooey? That already came and went and some people STILL say he knew his crap. Skynet's Judgment Day? That passed back in 1997. I was working as a telemarketer back then, so that's pretty close to languishing in hell being watched by robot overlords. The Mayan's 2012 Bash? Yet to be seen. But, they couldn't even see the Spaniards coming, so I'll take that with a grain of salt. KABLOW!!! Any Mayans in the audience? All in good fun. You know I love ya!

You gotta hand it to anyone who seriously commits to an end of the world date within their lifetime. They're putting all of their credibility eggs into one basket. The sad part is when that day comes and goes and they come up with some lame excuses to save face. Oh, Nostradamus was looking at a comet instead of a star. He was CLOSE on some stuff. Close don't count in Doomsday!! I'll give these people a break. At least they get behind something. We'll see what happens tomorrow. If it does turn out to be the Rapture, that should be interesting and I don't have to mow my lawn. If not, at least it's the weekend. Bulls vs Heat.

If the end does come tomorrow, here's one more pro and con. Well, three cons if you count the demons and judgment. Bad news first) People like me will have to deal with a whole lot of smug doomsayers. Pro) With the dead rising from the grave, we could kill Osama AGAIN. USA!!!!!

[Editorial note - The spell checker isn't working. Must be a sign.]

World Horror '11

It's been a little while since World Horror came and went, but that's no reason to forget about it right? Ok, so I've been slacking as far as updates, but here goes. This was my first WHC and it was great! It was held in Austin, TX which was also great! I was on the Vampire Mega Panel (which was SO much better than the Vampire Mini Panel) with none other than Steve Niles of 30 Days of Night fame. Freaking awesome! There was a moment when the moderator asked the panelists what their favorite vampire movie / book was and I contemplated lying. Whenever I'm asked that question, I say 30 Days of Night and Necroscope. Is it bad etiquette to mention another panelist's work like that? Does it make me look like a suck-up? Eh, who gives a crap. I told the truth with the preface, "Not that I'm kissing ass or anything, but..." Seemed to go just fine. Afterward, I got a chance to talk to Steve. Funny, but we seemed to see eye to eye on a lot of vampire type stuff. Here's a pic of me and him. Hopefully I'm maintaining some semblance of cool here.

The signing was fun. Met some great people. Thanks to all of you who stopped by to say hello! I even got to sign someone's Necronomicon-esque autograph book. THAT was cool! On my off time, I had a burger at Casino el Camino. If you're ever in Austin, GO THERE!! Amazing burgers and awesome chili fries. Not so amazing parking on 6th Street, but worth it.

All in all, it was a great time. Hopefully I'll be able to hit WHC next year. Now, back to the grind.

You can't have just one

So yesterday was Free Comic Book Day. And...I didn't even look in my local comic book store's direction. I know, I know. I'm terrible. I'm also not a rich man and am very weak when it comes to buying comics. Here's how the pattern goes:

Phase 1) I love comics. Always have. Always will. I want to keep up with the story lines and just plain enjoy having the books in my hands. I would like to purchase comics every week.

Phase 2) I'll make the trip to the store every Wednesday. You know...just to get away from my desk and indulge in the geeky wonder that is the comic book store. I'll set a budget in stone, something I can afford, and STICK TO IT. Don't worry about back issues. I just need to accept the gaping holes in my collection.

Phase 3) Wow! This is going really well! I'm so happy. I look forward to New Comics Day almost as much as New Video Game / DVD Day. My budget idea rocks. After all, it's one of my few entertainment expenses since I don't get out to bars or fine dining very often. YAY!!

Phase 4) This is a slow New Comics Day. Only 1 issue came out that I want. Why let my budget go to waste? Maybe I'll take a gander at some series I've never read. Ooooo! What's this one? Pretty colors!!!

Phase 5) So now I'm into my original series as well as 57 new ones. I'm invested in the story lines and want to know what happens in every one. Plus, I LOVE the weight of that stack of new comics in my hands every week. The pile is just so mind-numbingly heavy and smells so good! New comics smell differently than new books. Like different perfumes for two different, yet equally enticing, ladies. God, I love Wednesdays! Plus...it's still cheaper than going to bars and paying $8 for a Bud draft.

Phase 6) Ok, so this isn't cheaper than going to a bar. Still...I gotta have my comics. I work hard! I DESERVE THEM!!! It's not a problem! I can stop any time I want!! Stop looking at me like that!!! They smell so good. I love them. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!!!

Phase 7) Intervention. Somehow I stop buying comics altogether and take time to read through the stacks and stacks of issues I never had time to read during phases 3-6. I can pay my water bill again now. I guess that's nice.

I went to Free Comic Book Day last year, stuck to my guns and only picked up the freebies. It was fun, but I felt like a meth addict being led on a short tour through Lindsay Lohan's house that ended with me only being able to lick the bottom of her purse. Just too much of a tease! So I passed on Free Comic Book Day this year. Not because I wanted to but because, in the words of the great Wilford Brimley, it's the right thing to do.

WHC News

I couldn't be more excited about going to the World Horror Convention at the end of the month! I've been writing horror for years and loving horror my entire life, but have never been to a WHC. I intended on going to the one in the UK last year, but that fell through. This year it's ON! Everyone connected to the con has been great. Earlier, I got an email asking for panel ideas because they wanted to do something other than the normal vampire and zombie stuff. I drew a blank at the time and apparently I wasn't the only one because I'm going to be on the Vampire MEGA-Panel!! There's also going to be a Zombie Mega-Panel. I thought that was funny, but hey. It's a horror con. Vampires and zombies are all over the place. Might as well talk about 'em. There's going to be a ton of other stuff and the programming looks fantastic. My only problem is that my panel is at 1o:00 Saturday MORNING. UGH!!!! Rest assured, I will be there, chock full 'o caffeine and ready to panel it up.

Just getting to Austin will be fun because I'm road tripping there. Normally, that would be cheaper than flying but with gas prices what they are I'm not so sure. Then again, you can't put a price on crowded airports, intrusive searches, cramped quarters, aching eardrums, parking problems....ok. The price is too much and I'm happy to drive instead.

My new dog Mallory will not be driving with me. That kind of stinks, but she'll be in good hands. Speaking of my Schnoolde Sidekick, today she's going to the vet to get her stitches out from her spaying which also means the Cone of Shame will be removed! Yay. Look at her up there. So droopy. So demoralized. But things weren't always so bad. Her cone also acted as a crude parabolic dish to enhance the sound while watching amazing 80's movies! Check out the third picture for a look at how she made a valiant escape attempt while also wreaking glorious revenge on my blinds. Oy.

The Dead Man Cometh

Remember all those times I've been talking about doing ebooks? Well it turns out I'm not the first one to come up with this idea! Heh. Obviously there are plenty of ebooks out there, just like there are plenty of real books on the shelves. The trick is to find the ones that are any good. A friend of mine (Matthew Mayo who was also in that D&D related interview I was in) told me about a new series called The Dead Man. Right away, the title caught my interest. I like dead things. Also...skull on the cover. Ok, I'm easy.

Seriously, though, I appreciated the story behind the story. Turns out that the creators, Lee Goldberg and William Rabkin, had a great idea for a kick-ass supernatural TV series but couldn't get any of the network suits to give it a go. I can definitely relate. After so many years, they decided to just do the stories themselves as short, kick-ass ebooks. I checked out the first one soon after I got my Kindle and fell in love with the concept of a hero brought back from the dead and pursued by a demonic nemesis as well as the format of shorter action-packed stories along the lines of a monthly adventure series. Here's a link so you can see it for yourselves.

The reason I bring this up is twofold. First of all, I believe ebooks can help writers get stuff out there that wouldn't normally get a chance. The only drawback is that a lot of crap will surface as well so you need to know where to spend your dough. For what it's worth to any of you, I recommend The Dead Man. It's cool, full of violent goodness and (most importantly) FUN. Also, the first book in the series, Face of Evil, is currently only 99 cents on Amazon.com. The second reason I'm bringing it up is because I got in touch with Lee and will be writing one of the upcoming Dead Man books! My friend Matt Mayo will as well, so keep your eyes on the series in the months to come. The second book, Ring of Knives by James Daniels, just came out. I'll be working on mine this summer and it will be released soon after. Ok....commercial over.

In the last several months, ebooks have reminded me why it's fun to be a reader. They hearken back to the pulp days where stories were out there because they were entertaining, new and fresh. There's a place for the big publishers, but there should also be a place for the fun stuff. Pulp has its place. Without it, there'd be no Conan, Tarzan, hard boiled PIs, or treasure hunting adventurers. You know....the candy aisle of the bookstores. It doesn't all have to be drama or romance. Readers have always known this. Unfortunately, publishers are always looking for a sure thing before they commit to any project. There is no sure thing. This is something writers have always known. By its nature, our job is a gamble and putting out our own projects in a forum as widespread and accessible as ebooks allows us to place a few bets.

As I scroll through the ebook store on my Kindle, I'm finding stuff that I can't find on the shelves. It's the kind of material I wanted to write when I'd scribbled my first story. Even though Skinners is definitely something I've always wanted to write, there are SO many other projects that haven't seen the light of day because they weren't close enough to some other trend or just didn't hit the right editor on the right day. The idea of being able to get those other projects out there to be read really gets my blood racing. Are ebooks the way it's all headed? Are they just a prolonged novelty? I don't know. Right now they've hit a powerful stride and if good writers keep putting out good stuff, I'm all for it.

Quick on the trigger

I was going through my emails the other day and accidentally hit the "Clear All" button. Don't ask how. I screwed up. Leave it at that. The only reason I bring this up is that I saw there were some requests for signed covers in there and now they're deleted. So if you sent me a request for a signed cover within the last week or so, please send it again. I promise I won't wipe it out this time.

Damn My Eyes!!!

Last time I went to Best Buy, I got a chance to try out the new Nintendo 3DS. Very cool, but it was bolted down to a stand, locked up with chains and guarded by three drooling hellbeasts so I couldn't hold it the way I normally would. That resulted in me hunkering down to play some dopey little flying game on a bright pink toy. Not very manly. The 3D effects were cool, but my eyes started to hurt pretty quickly. Was that because of the angle, the 3D technology or the fact that my eyes are worse than someone who's gotten theirs yanked out and scrubbed with a brillo pad after staring at the sun? Who knows? I'm still excited about the 3DS, but that's after a downgrade from "really pumped".

Also, I'm set to watch Skyline. This is one of those movies that looked awesome on the previews, but I never got around to seeing it. So far, the reviews and word of mouth pretty much hover in the vicinity of "awesome effects / horrible plot". Since I like to riff on movies MST3K style anyway, this sounds like a fun time.

I put together a proposal and a few chapters for one of those steampunk projects I mentioned earlier. I'm VERY happy with the whole thing so now it's up to the publishers. Another one of my babies out making the rounds in the big bad world. This part sucks. Of course, as I've also mentioned earlier, I'm excited about the whole ebook thing. That means if New York doesn't want to play my reindeer games, I'll write it anyway and take my chances. Exciting times!