The other day was my birthday and, since a joint checking account removes a lot of fun from buying gifts for your spouse (Hey honey...your check just arrived. Don't buy that thing you wanted because I'm going to use the same money to buy it for you. Yaayy), we've agreed to just treat the birthday person to a day o' fun! And guess what? My day was pretty damn fun! Part of it was me dragging my wife to see Punisher War Zone. I bitch a lot about the whole theater experience and I was more than content to wait for DVD on this one, but I'm a big Punisher fan. Ever since I read my first issue back in '88 or so, I just can't get enough of the big, skull-wearing, murderous lug. I snagged a pirated copy of the Dolph Lundgren movie at a convention before it was released for real. Yeah! Awesome!! I was even one of the few people who actually thought the Thomas Jane movie wasn't half bad. Even with all of that, combined with my love for crappy movies in general, I was thinking War Zone looked pretty bad. Let's just say I caved. We went to an early show several days after release, so the theater was practically empty (cool). As far as the movie goes, it was fairly cool whenever Punisher was doin' his thang (ie - shooting/stabbing/punching people). Everything else was pretty bad and this comes from a guy who goes in hoping for the best. Jigsaw was cheesy, his crazy brother was beyond cheesy and there were a few things that I'm amazed made it into the movie considering Marvel is taking the reins for their properties nowadays. I'm willing to cut a movie some slack, but one thing at the end should never have been allowed to happen. I won't say what it is for those 3 or 4 of you who may actually pay to see it in the future.
On the bright side, some dialogue was so bad, it was great. For example:
Good guy who's dying: "I'll see you in Hell, Frank."
Punisher (Frank): "If I see you in hell, I'll kick yer ass up."
Yowza. There was one point where I felt it necessary to turn to my wife and say, "Ok. This isn't very good. Sorry about that." Not only did she smile and say it was fine, but she even said it wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. Apparently, her expectations were even lower than mine. Even better, after the movie, she baked me some peanut butter fudge brownies. I'm one lucky guy. Also, we picked up The Dark Knight on DVD and watched it while eating hot wings. What a freaking awesome birthday!!
PS - The only possible way for The Dark Knight to feel like an even better movie was to make Punisher War Zone its opening act.